What to read while proctoring state tests

October is a really tough month at work because my day is spent watching kids fail at the required state tests. Sometimes I'm allowed to read parts of the test to them, but most of the time, I have to sit beside them and (supposedly) cheer them into doing their best on tests that are overwhelming and meaningless to them, but very much a component of what funds my job.

So, yeah, sometimes I read at work.

I started reading Alan Brennert's Moloka'i which is a novel about the leper colony on one of the islands that eventually became Hawaii. This was my book club assignment and I was intrigued because it wasn't something I would ever pick up. Confession: I have serious issues with books that have a lot of bodily fluid talk in them. I suppose that makes me a bit of a prude, but there you have it. The only thing I remember about Salman Rushdie's Midnight's Children is that the protagonist had a big nose that was always oozing something or other. So much for a masterpiece. Obviously a book about leprosy was going to be a challenge.

Actually, the oozy bits and sloughed off body parts weren't the problem in this book and I forged ahead. In fact, I almost finished it, but I thought the writing was pretty bad. The author couldn't decide on a point of view so there were vertiginal swoops from one character to another, sometimes within a paragraph. I kept going because the story was definitely intriguing--the life and times of a 7 year old girl sent away to live on Moloka'i when leprosy was considered a dangerous and infectious disease. Parts of this life were fascinating and parts were, frankly, quite dull. After awhile I didn't care anymore. Plus I was stuck in a small, windowless room with kids failing to read the word "mechanical" and so unable to help pass a test that essentially funds my job. I needed something more light-hearted than leprosy.

Fortunately, my office is next to the school library, so between tests, I picked up a copy of Roderick Townley's The Blue Shoe, which is on this year's Great Stone Face Award. The subtitle of The Blue Shoe is A Tale of Thievery, Villainy, Sorcery, and Shoes, and it was fantastic. I read 3/4 of it while "working". I've only read three of the books on this list, but this one's a clear winner. Hap Barlo is a gifted thief, sent to do hard time on a distant mountain full of evil humans and angry blue-faced Auks (dwarf-like characters). He is doing penance for feeding a beggar in his home town--begging being a criminal offense. As the narrator puts it--and it's an intrusive narrator--Did I mention that the poor were arrested in Aplanap? They were. Well, beggars were arrested. You could be poor all you wanted and you'd be left alone. But if hunger forced you into the streets to beg for a coin, large men would come and cart you to jail, and from there, they'd ship you to the north side of the next moutnain, a peak so tall its top was perpetually covered in snow and surrounded by swirling clouds.

Hap doesn't really mind being sent to the mountain, as he hopes to reunite with his formerly-begging father, but it is a bad place. Eventually, aided by the love of his thirteen-year-old life, some Auks and the women who love them, some luck, and some magic, Hap sets things right, while showing up the obnoxious mayor and his wife. The mayor gets a great description. The narrator flatly refuses to say his name--claiming it is unpronounceable--but lovingly describes the scary wart on his brow that helps keep the villagers in line. Imagine what is wife--Ludmilla the Large is like. All the characters are amusing and well-written so that's half the treat. The ending is disappointing, but I guess most kids' books are that way. Definitely The Blue Shoe is a great escape if you're ever stuck doing some mind-numbing work that depresses you to boot.
I like to think I'm inspiring the testing kids to read more and therefore pass the test next year.

In the meantime, I've moved back to the adult world and onto Julia Glass' excellent The Widower's Tale. More on that when testing season is over.